CBL EP 159 Stop People Pleasing, Start Leading

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Chapters

• 1:44 New Year, CEO Mindset Focus
• 1:59 People Pleasing In Residential Cleaning
• 2:36 Early Lessons And Costly Guarantees
• 3:55 Spotting People Pleasing Behaviors
• 5:52 Pricing Without Apologies
• 7:38 When Exceptions Backfire
• 11:22 Scope Changes Must Be Written
• 13:58 No More Hopium And Late-Night Replies
• 16:06 Don’t Carry Client Stress
• 17:14 Survival Mode: Reviews And Momentum
• 20:25 Professionalism Without Being A Pushover
• 22:58 Short-Term Peace, Long-Term Chaos
• 25:12 Hidden Costs: Resentment And Instability
• 29:05 Underpricing Masquerading As Kindness
• 31:12 Emotional Fatigue And SOP Relief

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:52

Hello everyone. Happy New Year. First episode Out of the Gate. And we're gonna talk a little bit about CEO mindsets. And more importantly, we're gonna talk about a very important topic, and it's uh the people pleaser you. And I mean this with it's very heartfelt when I say this, and I'm not trying to categorize male-female preferences, but typically throughout history has been shown that females are more people pleasers. I'm not saying males are not people pleasers, I'm just saying for the majority of our industry in house cleaning, not commercial carpet cleaning or any of the other stuff, and all the other things that are coming up in our industry, women are groomed and conditioned to be more people pleasers. And because of that, we struggle more. And I'm not saying that males don't. I'm just saying that most of the females struggle with this initially. I struggled with people pleasing. I wanted to do a good job way back in the day. I didn't charge your, I didn't take a deposit for move-out cleanings. I challenged you to find something wrong with your move-out cleaning. And in reality, here it is 15 years later. I'm was crazy to actually do that. I could have eaten a lot more money than I did. And I actually used to have a hundred percent re refund guarantee. And then I saw a period of time where I couldn't offer that anymore because 20 cleanings in a row are like, I'm not happy I found a hair over here or random. It was just random. So society has changed and the dictates of what the expectations are has changed a lot. So I wanted to walk you through some very valid points on people pleasing, and so that you are aware when you are people pleasing, you can actually journal it or write down, or you'll you'll start to notice when you pay attention. Just spending 15 minutes a day makes microcosmic changes in your your plan on where you're going and what you're doing. It just takes little teeny steps. I I can't remember her name off the top of my head. Way back when I became an entrepreneur, she was explaining how little teeny baby steps always end up being bigger steps. So all you have to do is show up and be consistent. So this is just so that you're aware of people pleasing tendencies, especially in our industry. So, what what this looks like in real life, I'm reading from my notes, explaining pricing instead of painting pointing to it. So walking clients through the math line by line, first of all, yawn. Most of us are not excited about the language of math unless it's math in your bank account. So you don't have to explain line by line why you charge what you charge. Sometimes I still do because people forget that we're actually businesses. So in those instances, I believe it's still okay to actually do that. Gotta practice what I preach. You know, and I tell people, I'm like, you know, I spend 50 grand on advertisement. My labor is, you know, hundreds of thousands of dollars, my payroll taxes is this. I cannot operate at someone who does not have the overhead, right? So walking through clients through the math line by line, justifying why your rate is fair. You don't have to justify it why your rates are fair. Your cost is your cost. If you're paying all of your people$35 an hour, your cost is gonna be more than someone who's paying minimum wage. I guarantee the ratio of turnover is gonna be less on the$35 an hour side versus the minimum wage side, right? Over-explaining instead of letting the quote stand. When you are submitting a quote, don't and I I know the first couple big ones are like, oh my gosh, I would be this would just be awesome. This is gonna be a game changer. But there isn't tweaking, the price is the price is the price. You'll hear me say it over and over again: the price doesn't change, your cost of operating doesn't change, your KPIs don't change. The only change that happens is the consumer's mindset. And a lot of people still have a hard time wrapping their mind around why I have to pay for cleaning. You guys are just not worthy. Unfortunately, that still happens today, and it is changing. Making just this once exceptions. Just this once, can you do this for me? For example, we had a cleaning tech at a short-term rental and we never handled trash before. They wanted the trash done, it was a holiday. I said, sure, no problem. What they didn't explain to me was that they only had one trash can. So they overlooked the people who stayed in the short-term rental overloaded that trash can, and the pitch up the driveway was 90 degrees to get it to the street. And the person who was cleaning it weighed 100 pounds, right? So she was trying to push this trash can up to the street level. In addition, it wasn't just a trash can, it was eight additional bags of trash that all weighed 50 to 60 pounds of trash, right? I totally get it. There was 20 people in the house. And for someone who's 100 pounds, that's really heavy. In addition, I didn't think that there would be more than a trash can full, right? I I thought she might have two cans, she could have had three for a short-term rental that that's 3,700 square feet. You would think they would have more than one can, but that was not the case. So just this once exception, I ended up getting burned. The cleaning tech was upset. It was just like a bad deal all around when if I had stuck with my protocol, I would have said, sure, we can do that for you for an additional fee. And then I could have sent somebody by who was more burlier who could have pulled the trash can up and the trash can back up. And to add insult to injury, the cleaning person actually had to take all the trash from the street back down to the garage because they have bears in this area and the trash people didn't come, right? So there's there was that. And then adding tasks verbally without updating the invoice. It when you need to, if someone wants you to do something out of the scope of what you have agreed to do, you need to add it to the invoice and just say, sure, I'm happy to do that. We'll add that to your bill blanket statement. And it's gonna be whatever price it is. If it's an inconvenience for you, it should be a lot more. If it's a biohazard and it deals with mouse poop, it's gonna be more. If it's a short-term rental and they don't use all the beds, there's no negotiation. The price is the price, right? There's only additional charges for being extra dirty or having a party or all that other stuff. Waiving fees to avoid tension is another way, just this once exception. Okay, I'll do it for you this one time, and then it becomes a problem, right? Then this person goes that knows that you'll banned. It's like going to mom and dad. Mom, mom, mom, mom, can you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah? Mom goes, no, don't do that. And then they go to dad, mom, dad, dad, dad. You know, it's just that whole dynamic. So making sure that you're not doing just this once exceptions will keep things running smoothly. Adjusting the scope verbally, this is a big one. If I especially if you have multiple layers to your business, if I say something and I forget to tell Susan and Susan forgets to tell Marty, and Marty doesn't tell the cleaning tech and doesn't put it in the notes for the cleaner, that cleaner's gonna do what she's been hired to do. That's the normal scope. And when you add something on there, then the customer goes, Well, I spoke to Shannon and she said it would get done. And then Shannon speaks to Susan, and Susan goes, Well, Shannon didn't say anything. So just make sure that you are writing it in, taking the time, whether it's on your phone, at your laptop, on your iPad, whatever that is. Um, and I would do everything in writing, I would not do anything verbally. So this is just a heads up on this email that we're adding on the refrigerator cleaning this time. It's gonna be an additional$95. That that's something to keep yourself out of the weed, so to speak. To add on rooms, laundry, or deep cleaning tasks, mid-job. I've actually had this happen twice this year. I'm not understanding why people think it's okay to change the scope of the job. So then it became this whole dynamic of, well, we're not gonna be able, if we just change the scope of this job, we can do that. I have a little room on the schedule. However, it's gonna cost you this, and we're not gonna be able to finish that. So that might be something that you consider not doing because it was frustrating for the cleaning tech. I had to send another person over there for them to finish on time. And it was a whole like messy thing, right? So it needs to be discussed prior to the arrival of the cleaning tech or done where you send it over and you say, Hey, Susan, can you work an extra two hours a day? They want to have this done. And then you it's the and if they say no, say, I'm really sorry, Mrs. Smith, we'll have to catch it next time. No written approval or updated pricing, then again, that's a verbal thing. So put thing in the email or text message, screenshot it, save it to their file, put it wherever you put your digital assets, and then make sure that your updated pricing is like, hey, I just need you to confirm this text message that it's okay to add on$95 to your bill for the refrigerator cleaning we're doing today, and they'll say, Yes, I accept. And then that way it covers you, and they can't say, Well, I never approved it, right? Hoping that it balances out later. Nothing ever hopes. Hopium doesn't. Hopium is just that, it's just hope. You hope that it's gonna be I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, right? So make sure that you're not handing out hopium because it's not a very good thing. You respond fast to avoid discomfort, and there's a lot, that's a big piece. So you're immediately replying to late-night messages at nine o'clock at night because Mrs. Smith has called and her 72 pillows were not put on the bed in the correct manner, and she called you 16 times at 9 p.m., yelling at you, calling you names because you did not answer the phone. That is over the top, that is unacceptable, and it won't be tolerated, at least in my business. Solving problems emotionally instead of structurally, this is a hard one too, because you internalize it, right? When something goes icky, it doesn't sit well. It's an icky, like, God, I hate dealing with this, or I wonder if they're gonna respond. And then you spend all this time checking the responses so that you can come up with the next response. Just a one and done for now. It's like playing chess. Okay, I'm gonna move my knight here, and then you have to wait, right? You have to wait for them to move their knight, their queen, their king, whatever it is, their pawn, so that you have to wait. And it's not an emotional decision. Emotional decisions end up being messy decisions. Every time I make an emotional decision, I always regret it. Feeling responsible for client stress. This is a biggie, and this is also a red flag. So when your clients are stressed out or touchy or high maintenance because of whatever is going wrong in their life, that's the wind. The wind's going wrong in their life, they're gonna be mad at you. They're probably not good clients, and they're responsible for their own emotions. You're responsible for yours, they're responsible for theirs. Making sure that you're not responsible for their stress, unless, of course, you've inflicted upon them, and then that's a whole different story. Why it felt reasonable. Early survival thinking when we first start our businesses is you know, I need cash flow, you hit the ground running, you hit the ground running every single day, you're working seven days a week, sometimes 15 days in a row, sometimes 22 days in a row. I think the longest I heard this year, and that's becoming less. Thank you. I had I had someone who worked 44 days in a row, and I was like, why? Why are you working? And she was like burnt out, she wasn't feeling well, and there was all these things going on physically with her, and I was like, Why did you work 44 days in a row? But that has gotten better over time. You also needed reviews, so that's a whole hand-to-mouth survival thinking. I need to have reviews, I need to have reviews because it it's it's a vicious cycle, right? The algorithm goes, the more reviews you have, the more you get spit out on top, the more, the lesser in advertisement you need, you need less SEO. There's a whole bunch of strategy that goes behind that. And then early survival thinking is also you needed momentum, right? I gotta do whatever I can do. I'm gonna take whatever client I can get, and I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed that they're gonna pay me on time and I'm not gonna have to pick your with them because they felt that I made a mistake or I'm lesser than, so I don't deserve what we initially agreed on. Happens a lot. Desire to be seen as professional. So you I'm guilty of this. I know several people I can name, but I'm not going to. It's wanting to be easy to work with. I for a long time wanted to be easy to work with. I am not the easiest person to work with. Do I have smooth systems so that things can run smoothly? Yes. Do things go wrong occasionally? Yes. But for the most part, I'm just like any other business. I don't need to be seen as easy to work with, and I don't certainly care. Right? Because not everybody is your client. So make sure that you are not categorizing yourself in that and avoiding labels like difficult or rigid, let's be honest. There's gonna be people who are difficult, there are people who are rigid. We still have one client. If you touch his little office area, he's partially blind, he cannot see. And if you, even though there's a ton of dust on the desk, they're not allowed to touch it. And every once in a while we do because it just gets over the top. And if it's not back in the same spot, and I guess he can tell, he gets upset. And I have to explain to the clean tech. I'm like, you know, he cannot see. He's looking to have something in the same spot every time, and he can tell if it's not in the same spot because he knows how much the distance is. Excuse me. Choosing short-term peace over long-term clarity, avoiding conflict, it's okay, we'll take care of it for you this time. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. When in reality, that person has canceled nine times out of the 12 they were scheduled, or the 14, they've been laid in pain every single time, they've had a complaint every single time. That's that's avoidance, right? So it you come to a point where how much space is this person taking up in my head, right? Mistaking silence for resolution so they don't respond, and you're like, it's all good, right? There's always that one last olive branch that you should do when it comes to silence. You know, we I still go by the adage no news is good news. And I can't tell you how many times I've come into Costco and they've fully screamed at me in front of my kids in the cart. This is when they were little, um, because they were upset. I'm like, my door's always open, you can call me. So then there's hidden costs to being a people pleaser, right? Resentment. And resentment usually comes when you start to grow a little bit. You took on a house for$75, you were totally excited that Mrs. Smith was there. For the most part, she's been a pretty easy peasy person, but then you got a client that paid$95, and then one more client doing the same size, same scope for$150, then you start to do the math, right? So then that can cause resentment. The cleaning techs, especially if they talk amongst themselves and you're not doing pay for performance. Well, why does Susan get paid$35 an hour and I'm only making$17 an hour? That's resentment, right? So you need to sit down with them and explain how you can make the$35. You can explain to the client that you're a legacy client, you still need to have a price increase, regardless if you're at$75,$95, or$150. Then you start to feel taken advantage of. Um taking being taken advantage of still happens to this day for me. Um, don't let it happen to you. I'm a very generous and very transparent person. And I think sometimes people take advantage of that. So I've had to put in parameters of like, you know, I'm happy to chat with you for 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, if you require more time, I'm gonna have to send you a payment link. And it's because I would have people want to talk to me one hour, two hours for, you know, which is great. I love chatting, but then I get nothing done and I those are billable hours. It's just like with cleaning, right? And then your income doesn't become stable when you don't have any clear boundaries and your people pleasing because maybe Mrs. Smith got mad at you and now she's talked to Susan, and Susan's cleaning, and then you then she gets mad at Susan, and then she wants you back, right? So there's this whole weird dynamic where you know inconsistent invoices, then there's surprise labor costs. Maybe Susan doesn't work as fast as she should because she's too busy chatting with Mrs. Smith, and then the house, you have three hours of labor in the house, and Susan has three and a half hours of labor, and you're like, So why do you have three and a half hours of labor in that house? I've only I only have it for three. And she'll say, Well, I gave Mrs. Smith an oven cleaning or a refrigerator, I gave her a quick refrigerator cleaning, and then you go, Well, that wasn't approved at the office. So all of those little dings add up over time, and you could actually bankrupt yourself if you're not careful. Underpricing disguised as kindness. I saw a post today in my local Facebook group, and this gentleman is getting into cleaning, and he is steaming showers for$30 an hour. And I said, I hope that you're charging for that. And he's like, Well, I'm just catering to the senior crowd, and I think this is fair. I think that's great. When you're ready to discuss pricing further and you're ready to step out of that, I'm always happy to answer pricing questions, is what I said. I go, it looks fantastic. I'm not gonna sit here and lecture him. He's gonna do what he's gonna do, and when he's ready to make that change, he'll reach out. So that was that's a prime example of underpricing for kindness. He's catering to a certain demographic, they know that they have limited income. So it becomes this whole dynamic. Okay, there we go. And then there's emotional fatigue for being the people pleaser, and then that kind of ties in with the resentment and income instability. There comes a point when you're just it's exhausting to have to battle it out with somebody who is an emotional vampire. And there are a lot of people who are who don't realize they are, and then there's people who do that to get their way, right? That's as this is how they manipulate the masses to get what they need done. Um and emotional fatigue can come with constant decision making, repeating the same explanations. Sometimes you get that with some of the elderly who are having some memory issues, and then you end up carrying the attention home, and then your family's like, What is up with you? Why are you so angry, right? So make sure that you're not giving yourself emotional fatigue and that you're not having to make constant decision makings. When you have SOPs in place and policies in place, the decisions have already been made, right? And then training clients, clients pushing boundaries because they can. Again, that goes with emotional fatigue and income stability and resentment. When you have someone who constantly pushes boundaries, they don't pay on time, they won't open the door until 9 01, they have they're and they're still in the shower when you're there, or your cleaning tech is verbally abused, or they have to park really far away because this person doesn't want to give you the good parking spot. You have to have the boundaries established on what you're gonna tolerate and what you're not gonna tolerate. Again, I reiterate I say no a lot, and people are like, God, you're so mean. I'm like, it's because you have to be. If you want to survive long term in this industry, you have to be able to say no comfortably and understand that you're not there to bully anybody, you're just there to establish the boundaries. And then expecting flexibility forever, we just had this. I have a five-year client who is monthly, and she has become a little sporadic. Like her schedule, she has the same schedule, had the same schedule Fridays every four weeks, hasn't changed in five years, but suddenly this last year is I can't do this. This is too much for me. And then it's always a change that happens at the last minute. I didn't know, and I'm like, oh my gosh. So make sure that you are not being expected to be flexible forever. And I'm getting pretty sick of her. I love her, but I'm like, I'm my threshold is becoming smaller and smaller. Um, and then they always confuse kindness with access to you. That comes with anything, right? Everyone has your phone number unless you have your own private number in addition to your business line. And that just because you're nice and you're smiling doesn't mean that you're always going to be welcoming for whatever it is they want or need to have. You're not the end-all be-all for them. So make sure that you're you're establishing those boundaries. And then there's the there's the CEO reframe. So make sure that you're taking steps to get here. And these are all micro movements that don't all have to happen at the same time. You can just take small shifts to get yourself going. So think of boundaries as container. So there's boundary number one, payment is due when services are rendered, or payment is due before services are rendered. That's container number one. Container number two would be show-up fee or late last minute cancellation. Well, if we send a cleaning tech to your house and you don't answer the door, or you forgot to leave it unlocked, or the key wasn't there, or whatever the case is, the keypad got changed and no one can change, and you have no way to remotely access it. That's a show up fee. And it's not because we like to do that, it's because the cleaning tech took time, they left their house. Got out of their jammies, left their house, went in the car, drove over, was ready to do the job, and you're an MIA. So make sure that you're taking small little boundaries containers and that you're deciding what those are. Boundary container is an add-on, right? Scope creep. Hey, can you do this for me? That's a container. No, I'm really sorry. You'll need to call the office to add that onto the bill. And then the office will put it in the thing and then send over the information. And so it's covered on all ends so that you can get paid, right? So those are the containers that you some of the containers you would need just to get you started. And then they create when you have these containers that are fixed, it creates a predictable experiment. Experiment, experience. It could be an experiment, I guess. And that way it's just predictable. They know that if Shannon showed up, Shannon's gonna do the master bath first because I like to eat in the kitchen while she's there, and then she's gonna move over to the full bath, and then she's gonna bang out the other three bedrooms, and then she's gonna do the bottom level. It's gonna take her two hours and 27 minutes. It does it every time. And then they also know that if Shannon has to switch to the other direction, it will take her longer and we're gonna build them longer. I get sometimes things happen, but it's it's a predictable experience. That's what you're McDonald's, right? You guys hear me talk about McDonald's, a lot of people talk about McDonald's. McDonald's is the same thing repeatedly over and over, regardless of what location you go to, with the exception of India, right? So it's just something to think about. And then think of your policies as neutral third parties. So your policies in place protect your sanity, they protect your frustration, the space in your head, they keep things running smooth. You're no longer the bad guy because you enforced a policy, even though it's unpleasant, it has to happen. And the and the policy speaks first. This is why we have a 48-hour cancellation notice, which is gonna be abruptly changed here to 24 hours. And it's because there's the shenanigans of I didn't know, I didn't get this, I didn't get the email. I'm like, well, everybody else got the email, right? So just something to think about that policies are as neutral as third parties. Structure removes emotion. When you apply all the structure in place, you don't have to think about anything, you don't have to get frustrated, you don't have to resent someone for asking. All of them are right there and they can pick and choose what they want and not want. And if they don't want to cooperate, then they're not a good fit for the container that you have created. Consistency replaces justification. So that you again, I reiterate if Shannon showed up and cleaned your house in two hours and 27 minutes, and then it took longer because you switched something up or added something, then that is you know, consistency. I'm really sorry, you need to call the office. Those types of things. Respect doesn't require understanding. This is a big one. Clients don't need to agree and trust me. I've had clients tell me to stick it where the sun doesn't shine. I'm not doing business with a woman like you. I'm like, okay, what am I supposed to say to that, right? I want to talk to, or they'll get me on the phone. Can I speak to Mr. Miller? Because I don't have any say anything because I'm a woman. And what other things have I have been told over the I've had people yell and scream at the cleaning tech in front of me and like, what do you think you're doing? I'm like, you get in the car. Yeah, we're gonna leave in. I'll help you pack up your car. Let's go. It's that's why we have a code of conduct, right? So that makes it makes the consistency doesn't justify the bad behavior. And unfortunately, there's bad behavior no matter where we go. I went out to dinner with my family, they came up for the holidays, and it's uh it was tight. We went to Texas Roadhouse. Anyone who's been there, it's like big benches, it's packed, it's just like Texas, right? Everybody's eating and it's loud. And anyway, I guess the gentleman had had too much to eat and drink, and he decided that the woman who was squeezing by the little narrow space to accommodate him because his party was larger, that her her booty was fair play, and he got escorted out, and the police came was a big ordeal. I was like, oh my gosh. So that that way it's not just like clarified, it's the consistency of the protocol of you will not touch my servers is not need to be justified. You need to behave while you're inside the restaurant, you need to behave in your home while we're there cleaning. So that that's what I meant by that. And then respect doesn't require understanding, respect is earned. I know that we live in weird times and there's a lot of people who are just non-verbal and you have to kind of figure out what's going on. But respect is earned, and how you earn that is by providing trust and consistency. If your clients are not providing any sort of trust or consistency, like they're not picking up the house like they said they were going to, they're leaving you dog poop on the carpet that's been sitting there for two and a half weeks or three weeks or a month. Oh, can you get that for me? It's not they're not showing any respect, they're just showing that you're just an extra person to come and pick it up. I'm happy to do it, but I'm gonna charge you for it, right? And your cleaning tech might not want to pick it up, right? It might be against their their belief systems. Who knows? It could be a lot of things. And then what's changed when structure took over? So there were fewer objections, I found, when I started to have more structure in place. I found when I instituted a cancellation policy, I went from a 62% cancellation rate down to two. That's big. And I was like, right, right now, oh my god, I'm never changing this because they get dinged, right? We try we don't charge you 50 bucks, we charge you for the full cleaning. Not because we like to do so, but because the cleaning tech still deserves to be paid. So when they cancel, it needs to be an actual emergency. Well, we kind of changed a lot of things, but prior to that, it was 2%, 62% cancellation, 2%. So when you have 62% cancellation, it's not because you're not providing a service because people are still shopping. You didn't close the deal by getting a credit card or a payment link or whatever it is. There's you know, attrition and all the stuff that goes along with being on someone's schedule. So the you get fewer objections when you have structures in place. You're able to make faster decisions because you can look for the bump in the line that didn't happen, right? The bump caused the friction, so you need to fix the friction. And then you can provide clear expectations for both the cleaning tech and both the customer. So that makes it really nice as well. And then policies become answered questions. So then people, every everyone knows that there's a 24-hour cancellation pee. There is a show-up fee, there is a lockout fee. And the reason why is not because I want to go ding everybody, is because these are situations that come up a lot that need to be addressed. Viewer, can you just do this for me? Can you pick up the dog poop? I'm sorry, I just couldn't pick it up. It was there for four weeks, that type of thing. Less back and forth with a customer, and they know after a while, they know, they know they're gonna get a price increase, and they're gonna know if they need a something added on, they need to call the office, right? And then there's less emotional labor and it's less taxing on you up here. And that is golden. Less time to have to think about that, more time to think about other ways, other revenue streams, those types of things. That's just just awesome. And then the payoff is getting predictable income, emotional peace, and then eventually you you gain leadership confidence. So you're like it's running like a smooth, well-welled machine. It's not lopsided anymore. It doesn't turn and have a bump and turn and have a bump. It runs really smooth. And then you'll notice when you have more structures in place and you start to institute them and putting them there, the periods of time where things run longer and longer and longer and longer are smooth. And then after a while, you'll be able to anticipate when the next bump in the road comes because you're like, Well, I know that Mary hasn't been feeling well, and she then, you know, Mary broke her arm or whatever's going on with Mary. So then you can anticipate the bump and anticipate the change that needs to happen in your schedule so that you can continue to provide smooth running shifts. And that is the beginning of the people pleasing for the CEO mind shift. I look forward to your questions. You guys take care.